school
im not going to sit here and pretend like school was the best thing that happened to me (because it sure as hell isn't) but i feel like i was doing something. i'm coming up on my senior year in august and i still don't know what i plan to do with my life. i've tried ignoring it but its coming to bite me in the ass. not to mention the fact that i haven't gotten a permit... or applied for colleges.. or done anything extracurricular. so i wonder if i can even do something to provide for myself if i don't have the extra leverage of having something special done. the only claim to fame i've had are ap exams but... i don't think its enough (not to mention the highest score i've ever gotten on an ap exam was a three [AS OF JUNIOR YEAR TWO BTW!! I TOOK THREE APS AND GOT A THREE ON APLANG & APES])
i honestly suck ass at any history related thing... it just doesn't interest me unfortunately. (i say as i plan 2 take AP African Studies senior year but its different bc the main focus is black people... i think i lwk get bored of hearing about a white person... and another white person... I JUST HOPE THAT CLASS IS ACTUALLY INTRIGUING TO PEOPLE OR I TAKE APPSYCH [which isn't bad tbh])
anyway... tldr is. what the FUCK do i do with myself. i feel stupid for not taking enough chances to stand out... and i feel meaningless...
but surely music can drown out everything... like it did in february and march for me (i was actually at my lowest [family guy ref] then)