monotony
i feel like everyday i go through the same motions w/ nothing changing (and a lotof it [if not all of it] is my fault alone). i wish i can stop being afraid of burdening people's time... if they do so much as to talk with someone like me then they would probably at least listen.
maybe i'm being silly..
there are things i want to share but i end up holding back
sometimes i want to message one of my friends but when i open up discord [yeah, ik... her choice not mine] ifeel a wave of nervousness... what if she doesn't care... what if she doesn't respond...
but to be fair, i'm at least 75 percent sure i have a crush on her. every time i read past messages we sent to each other, i always seem to smile. not to mention we never really saw each other this year because of different classes [moreso that we had the SAME classes but at different periods] and different lunch blocks
AND i was feeling it BAD.
funny thing is, when we were showing our schedules for junior year, i joked and said that i was glad we had no classes in common.
that bit me in the ass. really fast.
that's off topic but either way, i feel as if im too scared of reaching out and thus my life becomes monotonous.
i also don't know how to converse w/ people online but that's a whole different story
i just wish i could have a bit more fun before having to worry about things adults (/ graduates) have to worry about