what do apologies actually mean?

28 Sep, 2025

i saw this one pinterest whisper type post early today that said "people apologize not to fix things but to express their regret". i saved the post in a private board because this kind of discussion interests me and i wanted to post something about it here.

maybe it's because i've been on the internet for too long but i don't believe in that above statement. there have been so many people who have only used apologies as a way to dodge all criticism or rightful backlash in favor of keeping up reputation.

so no, i don't believe in the idea that people are inherently apologizing to genuinely express their regret. it's honestly sad i and many other people have defaulted to thinking this way but to mindlessly trust an apology will only put yourself in a world of hurt.

i know its cliche but i strongly believe in the idea of actions speaking louder than words. verbal/written apologies are one thing but i honestly believe you have to work on yourself and show improvement or your entire apology falls flat. that's if people care for such a long term goal anymore.

when things that are inherently short term begin to dominate the internet and life itself, its almost impossible to expect anything genuine learned in a longer span of time. its almost impossible to expect people to think that far ahead.

i also think this by proxy forms a disconnect between creator and viewer base but im not getting into that right now.

all in all, i genuinely wish this wasn't my default reaction to people's apologies. i want to have faith in people. i want to believe people can actually improve upon mistakes, but it's become so much more difficult to do so.