A Gradutate?
At the time I am writing this post, it would be two (moreso one TBH) days until I go back to school. Except... I graduated.
It still feels so surreal. I could've never expected I'd live for this long quite honestly. It feels like I already beat like... 80% of my expectations just by graduating. The "summer break" has made me feel like everything is normal (or rather, usual... typical) but the looming countdown is reminding me how much more "free" time I will have because I graduated.
I genuinely don't know if I can watch my own graduation ceremony video. Not yet. I had watched the Class of 2025's graduation ceremony to get an understanding of what mine would be like... but obviously that isn't my class. I feel like wounds that aren't healed will return (biggest example is mentioned in my 27th blog post). Besides, my mom ended up pulling up the ceremony video (was streamed on YouTube) so I sort of already watched it through.
But... I can't pretend like it isn't something I think about (not everyday but once in a while). A part of me wants to look at it to take a trip down memory lane, even if the ceremony was only two months ago.
I definitely regret how I hadn't connected with people that I wanted to know more, but I was never a natural-born conversationalist so I ended up staring at people I found interesting.
BUT. I will say, I did branch out a bit during my senior year. I had partaken in the National Art Honors Society. It was really fun!! In hindsight, if I knew how important extracurricular activities were before my junior year, I would've probably taken part in like... the Math Honors Society.
Anyways... graduation, right? It feels so weird. Like... I actually did that, huh?
I'm not quite sure what it means to graduate, though. One of the definitions is to progress from one stage to another (usually higher) one. But... it feels like I didn't do enough, both inside and outside of school. It feels like I'm missing a lot. I was always smart, so that was never a problem. However, when it came to anything else, I sort of fell short everytime.
So... I graduated? In a sense. However, I'm not sure if that's what everyone wanted.
A graduate. That's me, I guess.